For almost 1 year i have been thinking of only you... well to say only you it would be a small exaggeration... but mostly you would make more sense. For the past five years YOU were my bestest friend... and i have known you for five years on top of that. There are no contradictions in anyones minds that you know me... you know what makes me mad, what makes me laugh, and especially what hurts me to the point of tears. I would rather someone be honest with me and feel the pain immediately then for somone to be dishonest with me, no matter how much it hurts. The idea of anyone sleeping there would drive me crazy and get me upset, especially so close to the end; but the idea that my best friend is the one sleeping there, hurts more than words could explain. I wish i could get over things quickly, but this time i can't. i am not going to drop this one... cause looking at it from every angle it was WRONG. The fact that you don't understand it was wrong makes it that much worse... The sorry was a help towards the right/ the better... but time is the only thing that will heal this wound. I thought after going to sleep i would feel better... i would wake up and feel relieved but the pain only worsened. I know it will go away but i wonder how long it will take. It is an unbearable pain... no other thoughts can occupy my mind. I want to hate you right now... i can't, but i want too. I hope that somehow you will end up seeing how hurt i am, and how wrong what you did was, but until then all i can ask is that somehow i can believe you again, trust you again, and even somehow feel that you love me again. Since at this moment i feel as though you care about no one other than yourself.