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Kimberly Ann's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Kimberly Ann

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WOAH! [07 Jun 2004|11:58pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

So, lately i've been hanging out with my jacquie! Kate slept here one night and we saw the cutest movie ever... Raising Helen.. i lubbed it. Ronald Reagan died and there's tooo much traffic everywhere. i have a job , it's okay. today i saw tob in a wife beater and shorts... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH way funny sight. that's about it

On Acid.

let's go lakers! [21 May 2004|06:25pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

i'm watching the Laker game while tiff's in the bathrub. soooooooooooooooo bored.... k i'm going to go get dressed bye

1 Surfers On Acid.

PLEASE HEAR WHAT I'M NOT SAYING [12 May 2004|06:47pm]
[ mood | content ]

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
for I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well
as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,
and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without
and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings--
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator--
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me
the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.

On Acid.

Myspace [30 Apr 2004|01:13am]
[ mood | amused ]

MYSPACE... the new live journal.... try it! love it! then Live it cause you too will become obcessed just like us!

On Acid.

rachel [16 Apr 2004|03:45pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

I want rachel to update my journal to explain last night cause she has the story down pat!!

1 Surfers On Acid.

Spring Break is over! [14 Apr 2004|11:03am]
[ mood | calm ]

Spring break ended but i still haven't stopped.

Today i'm going with klare to get her tattoo. I want to add to mine but i don't have any money.

On Acid.

Owwww My Tumick hurts [10 Apr 2004|01:06am]
[ mood | quixotic ]

I'm just sitting at kristen's right now.... not drunk cause last night i drank entirely too much! I puked in a cup on the way to the airport!

On Acid.

TIFFANY ANN IS CORRECT [08 Apr 2004|12:28am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Ok. I decided Tiffany Ann is correct, haha, I am crazy! I think I actually like him! I do not think it's just cause he's around and the other ones not.

Today we went to Universal Studios. It was fun other than that fact that Tiffany was a complete fuckin bitch... haha she was tired though so it's acceptable and forgiven. i love her and we all have those days.

1 Surfers On Acid.

my head hurts sooo much [04 Apr 2004|03:36pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Hey i'm a super de dooper match maker!!! i know we are all soooo proud of me.

I got to have my kids the entire weekend! I was soooo much fun! I miss them and love them all sooo much. I actually convinced russell that sofia was mine.

I finally know why he hasn't called ... cause of TIFF !!!!! but it isn't actually her fault or anyones fault. Atleast i finally know why.

Thurs: Fridays Fri: my kids and russell and tye and alex and amber and others Sat: my kids and pantrick and stephanie and mike and jason and randoms... Sun: owe my head hurts and i'm going to kyles birthday party

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLE!!!!!

On Acid.

[31 Mar 2004|12:25am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

I got a new car today!!!! It's not as pretty as my old car, but that's okay... i still love it.

I just got sooo frustrated though. I do not like when people talk about me when they don't even talk to me. Ridiculous!!!

On Acid.

Fraggle Rock ! [28 Mar 2004|01:05am]
[ mood | stressed ]

Okay, so i have not spoken with you in about ummm..... two weeks, and now you randomly call me to tell me that you fucked three women in one week. Well, let me tell you that's exactly what I wanted to hear right before bedtime. Why during your drunken escapade did you have to call me?!

I dont remember what I have done the last few days. Thursday night i got soo messed up that i didn't even know what i was doing with myself... that's why on friday i decided i was done being party girl! It's only been two days but i'm doing good so far ha. I'm going back to drinking every once in awhile and never ever smoking again. It's pointless and i'm smart enough to know that i just was getting wrapped up in stupid shit for some reason. But, i'm back on track now!

Tonight i played bartender... i know what you're thinking... No more drinking, but i didn't!!! I just influenced everyone else to drink, and i just had two beers, just cause... not to get drunk or anythign, they just tasted good :)

Okay well, i'm going to go and try and fall asleep. Between the dumb drunken phone calls, the frustrations of the night, and the stupid boy on vacation, i know i'll fall asleep quite fast... lol, oh how i wish!

On Acid.

Equilibrium..... [24 Mar 2004|08:59pm]
[ mood | naughty ]

"You get dizzy when the water goes from one side of your head to the other..." That doesn't make sense.........


I need to watch the OC now. It's finally back on!

On Acid.

My Morning [23 Mar 2004|09:57am]
[ mood | cynical ]

"Life moves pretty fast sometimes, if you don't stop and look around for a minute, you might miss it."

On Acid.

I'm the puss!! [22 Mar 2004|10:42pm]
[ mood | numb ]

If i don't say hi tomorrow then i'm the puss!!!!

On Acid.

Just honk! [21 Mar 2004|01:06am]
[ mood | listless ]

PASSING OUT!!! WE MISSED OUR MOVIE AND JUST WENT TO THE BATHROOMS INSTEAD!

1 Surfers On Acid.

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